The train journey into the north was a far cry from the British Rail Sleeper to Fort William – but an adventure all the same. The rolling stock was a curious mixture of communist back-to-basics and technology…battered, unpainted metal carriages with narrow corridors and antique sliding doors versus digital trip computers displaying speed, projected arrival time and ice-cool air-conditioning. There are several classes of accommodation on Vietnamese trains – and two levels of pricing for each: tourist or local. The hardy (and hard-up) can opt for a very cheap and very basic hard bench seat – think British park bench with bright fluorescent lighting and windows covered by protective metal cages. Next level up are the soft bench seats – think British park bench with a thin sliver of foam covered in non-absorbent vinyl. Reclining seats – a little like the sleeping lounges on ferry boats, but without climate control or sound-proofing. Finally, the two sleeper classes: hard and soft. Hard sleeper carriages pack six coffin sized bunks into each air-conditioned compartment. The mattresses would make an anorexic roll-mat jealous with their sparseness of padding and the berths themselves are just long enough to taunt a tall man into thinking he can lie down at full stretch – only to realise that he can’t! I felt fortunate to find myself in the top bunk of a soft sleeper carriage. Added benefits over hard sleeper include only four berths to a compartment, a thick (but still vinyl-covered) mattress and a free bread roll and bottle of water (gasp!) The berths however are still, tortuously, too short…I found myself wedged in with feet flat on one wall and top of head gently pressing against the other. However, the slightest lateral head movement brought it into contact with the heavy duty chain attaching the bunk to the wall. Eventually, a recovery style position on alternating sides allowed me to take an hour’s kip at a time, before pins and needles required swapping. The journey was surprisingly smooth and quiet – probably mainly to do with an average speed of about 50mph – and I was able to read only a few pages of Mark Twain’s ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn’ before the swaying motion and rhythmic percussion of the passing miles sent me off to the Land of Nod. Apart from the inherent problems of being a big man in a small man’s land, I was woken several times during the night by my poor travelling companions as the locomotive sound of my snoring became too much. Anybody who’s suffered the dubious pleasure of sharing a room with me and my rhinoceros-being-slaughtered-with-a-blunt-spoon night noises, should spare a thought for my three roomies…imagine the reverberation in a 6ftx9ftx6ft metal box…ouch!
We arrived in Lao Cai as dawn was struggling to break on the mist-shrouded mountains. One pleasing similarity between the Euston-Fort William and Hanoi-Lao Cai routes, is that marvellous sensation of having left the hustle and bustle of the city behind to wake up breathing fresh mountain air and drinking in the alpine scenery. A ‘cosy’ ride into the hills in a tiny clapped-out minibus, saw us arrive in a cool and misty Sapa in time for an early breakfast. I got talking to a trio of English Northerners – Steve and Jonny were mates from Liverpool and Burnley; Fleur another Scouser who’d met this pair of likely lads on the train. We hit it off pretty well from the start and I was disappointed to discover their tour of Sapa was a day shorter than mine and on a different route. Over breakfast we managed to swap e-mails and itineraries, with a view to meeting up in Halong Bay or back in Hanoi if we could.
Not long after they left, I learnt my first lesson about package tours in Vietnam: You don’t always get what you’ve asked or paid for…:-( My guide turned out to be an affable young chap called Huom. The first thing I discovered after his name was that he was very sorry, but the requisite permit for our third village home-stay had not been forthcoming. We would therefore be trekking only for three days and I would be spending my last night in Sapa in the hotel. I was a little irritated as I had deliberately signed up for the 4 day hard trek as I wanted to give myself a good workout after all the beach-bumming in the Philippines. I had also wanted to spend an extra night with a different ethnic minority family, as my other reason for coming to Sapa had been to meet the hill tribes and see how they lived…as I was to discover, the extra night would make little difference. I was left waiting for an hour with no real idea of what was happening next (a familiar feeling after a few days in Vietnam, believe me) and wondering when I’d be able to take my promised hot shower. Huom eventually returned to tell me that we would be leaving in 15 minutes and seemed a little flummoxed by my request for a shower…it seemed like he had very little idea of what was going on either. He explained that my tour company in Hanoi paid the hotel to arrange tours…and that he merely guided the tourists according to the hotel’s instructions. I could see there was no point in shooting the messenger, but I was definitely given the impression that the management of the Royal Hotel don’t give a rat’s ass about customers once they’ve taken their cash. Fortunately, Jonny and Steve came to the rescue and allowed me to use the shower in their room – so I didn’t hum too badly when it came to meeting the rest of my tour group.
There were only five of us including Huom, which I was very pleased about…I didn’t want to be part of a dozen-strong gaggle of ‘round-eyes’ barrelling through the villages and disturbing the locals. Lesson number two about package tours in Vietnam: you’ll never disturb the locals en route…they’re ready and waiting to ambush you to try and make money from you. As I and my fellow travellers were to discover, three days of ‘You buy this from me…you buy that from me (I’ve already got one!) ….you buy two…you have brother? Buy for brother….buy for friend’ gets a bit wearing. I won’t claim to have the patience of a saint, but you could not ask to meet two nicer, gentler folk than Jamie and Melanie from Alaska…and even they were a bit sick of it by the time we returned to Sapa. The other member of our party seemed to be spared most of the hassle by dint of his English skills. Hamada-San was a logistics manager from Japan and, while Melanie, Jamie and I were able to make intelligible conversation with him (with a little effort on our part), seeing non-native speakers trying to sell stuff in English to another non-native speaker was actually quite comical at times. Prior to our trek, our Japanese companion had completed a hard 3-day assault on the summit of Fansipan (at 3143m, Vietnam’s highest mountain). He certainly had the appearance of an office worker rather than a hardened outdoor enthusiast and, despite his admirable stoicism, by the end of day one it was apparent that he was finding the going tough. Hamada-San’s natural reticence and growing fatigue meant that, increasingly I found myself in stride and conversation with the Alaskans. In contrast to Hamada, it was obvious that Melanie and Jamie made regular forays into the spectacular outdoors of their homeland. They made excellent company for the road with a good level of light banter and plenty of tales and good humour. They had only recently married and, while it was obvious that they were very much in love, they made me feel as welcome and included as an old school-friend. I’ve been struggling to find words that do them justice, as I took such pleasure in their company and intelligent conversation. I think what it boils down to, simply, is that they are plain, salt-of-the-earth, good people…and I look forward to our paths crossing again in the future. From very different backgrounds and refreshingly different perspectives we all seemed to share common views on the benefits of travelling and the necessity (at least to try) to understand other cultures. Melanie’s job as a flight attendant with Alaska Airlines and Jamie’s occupation as a house-builder (a seasonal activity in their neck of the woods!) mean that they are both able to take extended vacations. If you can take the time off, trips to South-East Asia and South / Central America instead of mundane all-inclusive package holidays are certainly more cost-effective and mind-stimulating. You certainly get to meet a different breed of traveller…
After our initial uncertainty (it turned out the other three had been sold different tours too!), Huom turned out to be an excellent guide. His English was excellent, having spent 4 years studying in Hanoi, and his knowledge of the local paths and tracks meant we followed an interesting and varied route down into the valleys of the local hill tribes. He kept up a constant stream of information about the origins of the various tribes and their customs, whilst taking us along at a nice steady pace in the growing heat. We made stops for drinks and food at various shady shacks along the way…and soon came to realise that a stationary group of tourists is like a magnet to the quaintly dressed girls and women of the local tribes. For the early part of the day we encountered mostly H’mong tribeswomen in their indigo dyed traditional dress. I understand that the villagers have adapted their lifestyle to make the best of their situation, so it would be unfair to blame them for wanting to sell their wares to as many tourists as possible. What was difficult to accept was their hardcore persistence…double-glazing and timeshare salesmen could learn the true meaning of hard-sell by taking lessons from these girls! Saying, ‘No, thank you,’ twenty-five times to each and every member of the twenty-strong scrum that descends on you in every village is taxing – on both patience and energy. Still, the sun was shining, the scenery spectacular and the company excellent – so the novelty factor took plenty of time to wear off. The sun was shining so hard, in fact, that I soon began to worry about my lack of sun-block (having not had chance to apply my hi-tech gunk after my rushed shower earlier on). I thought I could kill two birds with one stone by purchasing one of the beautifully embroidered local shirts from one of the hard-sellers. Namely, to cover up my arms and to put off new vendors by showing that I’d already bought something. As a ploy it worked only partially…I was too late to stop my arms from burning, although I suppose it would have been worse without the shirt…and the villagers only tried harder to sell me stuff – probably, as Melanie suggested, because they thought I was an easy target, having succumbed once already. The best part of the joke was still to come though…later, having stripped off my sweaty shirt, it became apparent that some of the shirt had stayed with me…namely the indigo dye! The salt in my copious perspiration had also caused the dye to set on my skin…so I actually spent much of my first two weeks in Vietnam looking like a smurf…much to everyone else’s amusement.
Disappointingly, our first day’s trek came to an end at 3pm – the supposed 18km of hard trekking we had been expecting probably wasn’t more than 12km of gentle hill-walking…certainly not what we’d signed up for. Our next bug-bear was our home-stay. Expectations involved staying in a traditional house with a family, sharing a meal with them and perhaps sitting round the fire talking with our guide translating for us. Reality was a purpose built guest-house (admittedly in traditional style, but around 4 times the size) with 12 mattresses, separate meals for us (tour group on porch) and them (guide and family in kitchen) and being left to entertain ourselves while they watched television. Once again, I appreciate that the locals’ life has been adapted to meet tourism demand…but it was, nevertheless, disappointing. Instead of gaining a true insight into the lives of the local people, we merely discovered that they were very good at making money out of tourists. Melanie and Jamie taught me to play cribbage and, certainly, the hours didn’t drag in their company but (as Jamie remarked) we could have been playing in Anchorage or Harrogate…why travel to the Vietnamese mountains? Dinner was certainly delicious and there was plenty of it, but it would have been nice to break bread with our hosts…
Day two was very similar to the first day, although the tracks were a little treacherous after overnight rain. A filling breakfast of pancakes suited me to a T…although Hamada didn’t look too impressed. Asians tend to eat noodles for breakfast and he only managed to force about half a pancake down before giving up. He seemed unusually tired and, when questioned, admitted that he’d been kept awake by some horrendous snoring…I felt extremely guilty eating his share of breakfast and knowing I’d prevented him from getting some much needed sleep. Still, I wasn’t about to let good food go to waste! The scenery was, once again, breath-taking but we were forced to take to the road for a long stretch to avoid some dangerously steep downhill sections, which the rain had turned into death slides. The road into the valley was in the process of being widened and properly paved, so the abundance of digging machinery and fume-belching lorries didn’t do much for the aesthetic appeal of the place. Once again our home-stay was disappointingly commercial and the over-whelming feeling was not one of mutual understanding…more like prey being circled by predators.
Our final day on the trail was by far the best in terms of both local interaction and hard physical effort. We crossed the valley and climbed up the other side to see a village of the Dao minority. They seemed far less interested in selling us stuff and we were even able to elicit shy smiles from some of the local kids instead of having to fend them off. Village life seemed to continue around us - with the daily food preparation and cleaning chores being carried out alongside weekend activities such as maintenance on their wooden houses and repairs to agricultural machinery (equivalent to banging up a couple of shelves and washing the car?).
Back in the valley just nicely for mid-day, we began the long and arduous climb back up to the road as the sun beat down fiercely on our bowed heads. Jamie and Melanie left me for dead as their mountain-ready legs bore them steadily up the winding path. Unable to sustain their perpetual motion, I was forced to take ever-more-frequent, gasping and sweaty breaks. Still, Hamada-San was the true hero…after his exertions on Fansipan, no sleep and a breakfast consisting of the juice of two lemons he forced his tired limbs up the slope only fifteen minutes behind me.
After lunch, it seemed like we waited forever for our Jeep to come and pick us up. While I was content to rest and allow lunch to settle, Jamie and Melanie found themselves drawn into a game of shuttlecock with some local girls. The kids were genuinely enjoying themselves and, while they made an easy sale of the shuttlecocks when the game ended, I don’t believe that was their ultimate motive.
The jeep ride back to Sapa over the un-constructed road was one of my least favourite automotive experiences ever…ranking pretty closely to a certain trip down the A30 a few years ago. Poor suspension, underpowered engine, exhaust fumes and heat contributed to a fairly nauseating experience…add the possibility of certain death from the steep drops on the left side (just as well my weight was on the right!) and you can understand that we were pretty relieved to return to the hotel in Sapa.
Of course, our relief only lasted long enough for us to work out that the hotel didn’t have any rooms for us. I wasn’t so fussed about that particular hotel…I was supposed to be staying in a village anyway. Jamie and Mel, on the other hand, were pretty disgruntled. Having stayed in the hotel the night prior to our trek, they had reserved and paid for the same room again to keep the beautiful view. They had even left their passports at the hotel and paid extra as this was a Saturday night. The attitude of the hotel staff, once again, left a lot to be desired. We finally got rooms at a nearby hotel and found a decent restaurant for a bite to eat. After dinner, in order to learn a little more about the local culture, we headed down to a bar with a floor show of traditional hill-tribe dancing. I’m no expert in the dancing customs of North West Vietnam, but I’m pretty sure the show was just an elaborate hoax to make more money from tourists. Some of the miming and the sheer lack of effort from the participants brought embarrassed grimaces and even sniggers of derision from the audience. The knowing smirks exchanged by the dancing girls seemed to add credence to the hoax theory and we left after twenty minutes, opting to spend our tourist dollar elsewhere.
The following day, with nothing to do until my night-train left at 8.50, I took a wander around the market and purchased a new ethnic shirt – this time mostly white, with some nice embroidered detail. I felt particularly chuffed with my bartering skills – walking all the way round the market, trying on twenty or so shirts until I found one that fitted at the right price. The food market was teeming with every kind of plant and animal as you’ll see from the photos…but I had arranged to meet Melanie and Jamie at a cafĂ© for lunch, so passed up the exotic fare on offer. Their experience with the Royal Hotel had deteriorated further since the previous evening, with some screaming harpy haranguing them over breakfast for having the audacity to ask for their money back after being put in an inferior hotel. Contrary to everywhere else I’d been in Asia (and thus far in Vietnam), customer service and good manners seemed to be sadly lacking here – something we attributed to the sheer volume of tourists who come…if you upset the odd few, it doesn’t matter as you’re still making money hand over fist.
Melanie and Jamie were catching an earlier train to Hanoi, so we parted later that afternoon after a farewell beer. E-mails were exchanged - and mutual invitations to visit too. Characteristic of their generosity of spirit, they kindly gave me their (brand-spanking new!) copy of the Cambodia Lonely Planet as they knew I was heading there after Vietnam. Whatever else happened in Sapa, I’m glad to have met these two and I look forward to introducing them to you guys when they’re over in England. I’m already planning an Alaskan leg on my next trip to check out the hiking and climbing near their home. Thanks guys…you were the one saving grace of Sapa :-).
After they left, I buried my nose in Huck Finn…Huom had noticed me reading it the other day and had professed to it being one of his favourite books in Vietnamese, so I had promised to give it to him before I left. I can only imagine how he’s coping with the colloquialisms of the Mississippi basin!
On the journey back to Hanoi, I lay reflecting on my Sapa experience. I was pretty disillusioned…I hadn’t expected the commercialism to be so rampant, nor the locals to be so affected by the tourist influx. I was glad to have met Melanie and Jamie and to have seen the beautiful scenery and the equally beautiful people, but I couldn’t recommend my experience to a friend. A better option might have been to head up to the hills under my own steam and book a two day trek. This would have minimized the commercial overkill and the chances of being ripped off by cynical tour operators. In the back of my mind I was desperately hoping that the rest of Vietnam would not be so sullied.
Sorry if this hasn’t made particularly pleasant reading, guys. It was my first (partially) negative experience since leaving home, but I want to give a full and honest account of my travels …warts ‘n’ all.