We were up again at the crack of dawn with another full itinerary beckoning for the day ahead. I snuck out a little earlier than most to find breakfast at a street stall – my previous experience of package tour food earlier in Vietnam had led me to be wary, especially when I was going to be paying for it. For a little less than 15p I found some noodle soup with an unidentifiable piece of meat on the bone. Whatever it was, the noodles and soup tasted delicious and I’m sure the pet dog would have enjoyed the remains.
Back at the hotel, we were herded down to the river in an untidy crocodile formation to pick up new boats which were to ferry us through the floating market.
As we cruised downstream, river life was already in full-swing around us. I fear, if we’d been hunting a bargain on melons or cauliflowers, we’d already have missed the boat (excuse the pun!). It was past 7am and the market would have been going since first light (around 5.30ish). By now, fully-laden boats were heading back home – the days purchases already accounted for. Fortunately, we were there for the view…and maybe a sampling of the outrageous array of fruits on offer. When good food is on offer at bargain-basement prices, it’s unlike me to turn my nose up at it. Each of the market boats had an example of its wares on the top of a long pole protruding from the prow. We moored up to a pineapple boat where we were relieved of 20p for a deftly trimmed whole pineapple – its stalk acting like a lollipop stick for the short time it took me to wolf down its sweet, succulent flesh. Two of my companions – a German couple named Tanya and Alex – were so impressed at my obvious enjoyment that they too decided to tuck in…and they weren’t disappointed either. The street markets in Asia are a bright, colourful and somewhat smelly experience…multiply the bright and colourful, add the strident shouts of vendors advertising their wares and subtract the smell (whipped away by a refreshing breeze) and you get some sense of the floating markets. You don’t so much find your purchases as they find you. Everywhere floating bottle shops and noodle stalls ply their trade between the boats. Bowls and glasses are taken, filled, returned and consumed – the dishes are then taken and washed before being stacked and returned: an at-home catering service on the water. The air is filled with the sounds of bartering and raucous laughter; jolly skippers jostle for position and curse good-naturedly at their competitors; everywhere the mechanical putt-putting of hard-worked boat engines and the lapping of water against wooden hulls.
After the floating market we headed upstream to a noodle factory. Copious quantities of rice are ground and mixed with water to produce a thick, gloopy, batter-like substance. This is then steamed on a griddle to produce 2ft-wide pancakes, which are left to dry to a tacky consistency in the sun on large bamboo racks. After eight hours, they are ready to be shredded into vermicelli or cut into noodles. Not the most exciting tourist attraction and not the kind of job you’d write to Jim’ll Fix It for a chance to try – but nevertheless an important industry when you consider the dietary preferences of Asia.
Next stop was the handbag farm. Now I know there are girls reading this who think that handbags grow on trees. However, your average Gucci or Prada patent leather handbag (believe it or not!) actually spent much of its former life holding together the insides of a large grazing animal that moos. For that little extra prestige in Asia, it has to be crocodile or nothing, sweetie. The first thing you notice at a croc farm is the unprecedented olfactory assault you are subjected to by the close proximity of several hundred aggressive reptilians. The second thing you notice is that you must have interrupted them during a game of musical statues…perhaps when the sound system’s blown a fuse. These critters could make a living modelling in shop windows for Lacoste. They seem to do nothing all day long, but stand stock still catching rays. If it hadn’t been for the fearless (and frankly, either drunk or insane) croc-keeper I could have believed I’d been walking through the new reptile section at Madame Tussaud’s. As we wondered round the enclosures, he happily went into the cages (containing maybe 50 4ft crocs…with lots of very sharp teeth) and playfully(!) pulled their tales, splashed water on them and clicked his fingers under their toothy snouts.
Back once again in the comparative sanity of Can Tho, I dragged Jonah, Tanya and Alex off to my breakfast venue for a spot of something different for lunch. After an unsatisfactory breakfast experience it seemed most of our party had decided to take an unofficial option for lunch…when we returned to the ‘official’ restaurant to pick up our bags, we were confronted by disgruntled staff and an empty dining room. I didn’t feel any particular sense of guilt – I’d grown fed-up of being ripped off for sub-standard fare…and our lunch had been a tenth of the price and perfectly tasty.
Back on the boat, we settled into a 5 hour cruise towards our evening’s destination of Chau Doc. For the first couple of hours I hid myself away from the baleful glare of the sun under the awning and worked on the computer. Eventually, with the battery running low, I joined Alex and Tanya with a few cans of 333 to chat about home and witness the natural kaleidoscope of the setting sun. Long after the final dying rays had sunk beneath the horizon we pulled up to the bank and disembarked. Transport to the hotel was in the Cambodian moto-remorque – a trailer hitched to the back of a motorbike which, like a bumble bee, doesn’t look like it has sufficient power to move. However, the throaty little four stroke dragged four people and baggage, albeit slowly, to our out-of-town hotel. I had made the mistake of assuming that, as on the previous day, we’d all be staying at the same place…which wasn’t the case. I didn’t get an opportunity to say goodbye to Tanya, Alex, Kulli or Joti, which was a little upsetting. I had at least given Kulli my e-mail address, written inside the cover of Catch 22 so, with any luck I’ll be able to catch up with him and Joti in Ealing.
The saving grace of the situation was sharing my room with Jonah and his inimitable New York humour. After ditching our bags, we took a wander into town in search of somewhere to eat. After my budget triumphs earlier in the day, it was Jonah’s turn to come up trumps. After twenty minutes of aimless strolling through the back-end of town (our bloody hotel was so far out of town, we couldn’t even find ourselves on the Lonely Planet map!), we were about ready to settle for any old grub. Down the street, Jonah’s sharp eyes spied a restaurant with oodles of fresh seafood swimming or clambering around tanks outside. Inside it had the look of any number of the spit-and-sawdust places that had served me so well on my road-trip with Russ. We chose our meals by pointing at squid (Jonah) and crab (me) and sat back to wait for the results. Admittedly, we were both ravenous, but the food really was superb. I have no idea what they cooked our food in – garlic and chilli were the only elements we could positively identify – but the flavours were truly mouth-watering. I had a hard time getting into my crab at first (literally!), but Jonah came up with the (totally erroneous!) suggestion that it was soft-shell crab, which he had seen in Japan and was possible to consume shell and all. Another crack in my ailing molars was testament to the fact that this was not the case…but, without the worry of separating meat from shell, I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. I was that impressed with the crab that, having tried a little of Jonah’s, I ordered a second course of squid. All told, three beers included, all this fine fresh fare set me back less than ten dollars and we rolled home fully satiated. Jonah lost his rag with the hotel staff when we returned to discover that the water in our bathroom still wasn’t running – a problem he’d highlighted before we’d set out in search of dinner. Having lived in Japan for 3 years, where problems don’t occur or are sorted out with the utmost celerity, I can understand why his frustrations boiled over somewhat. After 3 ½ weeks of Vietnam’s laissez-faire attitude, I was a little more sanguine about the situation but, to give him his due, he did eventually get the situation rectified and we were able to clean up before hitting the hay for a well-deserved kip. It was the end of my last full day in Vietnam and, as I waited for the Sandman to pay me a visit, I reflected on the sights I’d seen and the people I’d met during my time immersed in its rich culture and contrasting modernity. I know I will return – but not with the same desire as for the Philippines or Korea. The endless merry-go-round designed to extract the maximum tourist dollar gets a bit much after a while. There are some amazing sights, some of which I’ll never forget – Halong Bay, Hue’s citadel and the majestic rain-clad peaks of the Central Highlands to name a few. Some sights, though less aesthetically appealing, will also remain with me for a long time: Vinh Moc, Khe Sanh and the War Remnants museum were all testament to the futility of war and the amazing resilience of the Vietnamese people. Most of all, my fondest memories are of the people who I met and was able to spend time with. I’m not going to list them all here – anybody mentioned in the last 19,000 words or appearing in one of the many photos has made an impression on me – suffice to say, as with virtually anything in life, it was the people that made Vietnam for me...and I look forward to catching up with all of them in the future – wherever they are in the world.