There’s so much to consider when I think about Open Arms that it’s difficult to know where to start when wanting to explain it all to other people. There are so many indispensable parts to the machine – none of whom I want to forget about or whose importance I want to understate. Of course, central to it all are the kids…so this is where I’ll begin.
As I explained last week, Harrogate House is a relatively new addition, built to look after a growing group of children who literally had nowhere to go after the initial transition period that Open Arms was set up to deal with. As many of the kids who come here have lost their father as well as their mother and may not have other relatives who are capable of looking after them, a further need developed to continue caring for them. However, the main aim of Open Arms is to get the children through that difficult first two years before hoping to place them back with their families, where this is practical and possible. The continued monitoring and care of these returned children is a major part of the job and I’ll write more about that later. The Harrogate House kids, then, form only a small proportion of the total kids at the home as there are (currently) 37 0-2 yr olds in the main house.
As there are so many, I couldn’t possibly remember all of their names after so short a time and I’ll just tell you a bit about the ones I’ve spent some time with and become attached to. As you’ll remember from my first report, I was immediately drawn to Edina – the child with cerebral palsy who spends a lot of time in her high chair or lying on a big cushion. Of course, her limited motor skills don’t allow her to get so involved with the toys but she’s a happy little kid, whatever’s going on around her. She loves to smile and press her face against your hand and gurgles delightedly if you beep her nose or tickle her feet. Her big, curious eyes focus on you, willing you to come over and play and I have to admit, I’m always a sucker for it, even if I’m feeding one of the littluns.
Of the tiny kids, the very tiniest is Kandichere – I’ve absolutely no idea just how small she was when she arrived at the home but even I’ve noticed how much weight she’s gained since I got there…and she’s still unbelievably tiny (as you can see from the photos). You’re very aware when you’re feeding her of just how much she needs that nutrition and as those little black eyes stare up, it’s utterly impossible not to feel protective towards her and I find myself willing her to guzzle down every last drop. When a child is that young and so dependent, you can’t help but fall in love with them – I’m sure it’s a genetic instinct – and Kandi’s cot is always the first one I check whenever I get into the main house.
There are several others who I’ve grown quite attached to: the beautiful smiling twins, Sheila and Susan; guzzler Chisomo 2 and playful Emmie. It’s hard not to want to take them home – they’re so winsomely cute and totally adorable. All you can do is give them your full, undivided attention for those 10-15 minutes while they take their bottle and then tuck them back into bed until the next time.
Getting back to the toddlers, they are of course a lot more mobile and a little more aware of the things and people around them. Just as in Harrogate House, there are some real attention-grabbers and I’ve learnt to be very careful about who I pick up and for how long if I don’t want a howling nightmare when it’s time to go. They are all, however, lovely, well-adjusted little nippers and I’d bring my cousins or my nephew out to play with them any time. There’s Grace and her ‘old’ looks (she genuinely looks at you sometimes with kind of pursed lips as if to say ‘I know your game, sunshine – you won’t get that past me’) and her love of dancing and singing; then there’s Stephano, looking like he’s permanently concentrating with his little pink tongue sticking out; Evans with his cheeky grin and love of getting into places he shouldn’t; Ethel with her startled wide eyes and adorable, affectionate smile; Sam n Eric (actually named after the two littluns in William Golding’s ‘Lord of the Flies’) with their gentle, thoughtful natures and inquisitive little hands; and we can’t forget Nolia’s slow, but steadfast affection (more about her later) and – last, but by no means least – little Jackie with her lovely cuddles and funny little protruding navel. I really could go on all day about these lovely, lovable, much-loved children…but there is so much else to tell you. Suffice to say, they’re all great and: Beware – they’ll have you under their spell in an instant!
All these kids are looked after by a dedicated team of ‘mothers’, headed by Moussa (supervisor), Gladys (Matron) and Rose Phiri (Senior Matron). Each child has three mothers – to ensure that there is always one on shift – and each mother has 3-4 babies, who they are responsible for changing, feeding and, most importantly, loving…and they really, really do. If you ever wanted confirmation that the world and people are good, then you need only spend a day watching these tireless, selfless women looking after their little charges. Of course, it is a job for which they get paid…but there is no sense of them fulfilling a duty…simply loving these kids and, no doubt, as much as they love their own children back at home. I’m even worse with the names of the mothers than with the kids but they’ve all made me feel so welcome and wouldn’t dream of passing me without asking after my well-being. They smile in the face of filled nappies, laugh at food fights and deal good-humouredly with squalling babies and fighting toddlers. I’ve gotten to know Martha and Irene a little more than most, having driven them to the hospital on occasion but, given a longer stay and a bit of effort on my part, I’m sure I’d have come to know them all well enough to consider them my friends.
Rose Phiri is the lynchpin of the whole operation – the link between the ladies and Neville and Rosemarie, the Home’s directors. She’s also the senior nurse and responsible for monitoring the well-being of the children and administering medicines. Her strong character but easy-going demeanour mean that she commands a lot of respect and affection from both staff and management…but her real magic lies in the way she handles the families and guardians of the children – both during their stay in Open Arms and once they are returned to the village.
Every Thursday, Rose goes on outreach to check on the progress of former charges and to deliver food and medicines where necessary to ease the burden for the remaining family that has taken on the child. This is perhaps the most vital aspect of Open Arms’ work. Without support in the first few months, many of the families would struggle and the child might get back into a poor state of health or become otherwise neglected. With the incentive of support and the contact, these families learn to cope and the kids retain a good chance of going on to lead normal, healthy lives. It would be a terrible tragedy after two years of nurturing and nursing for the kids to end up in an even worse situation and it is the outreach work that ensures that all that previous investment pays off.
I was lucky enough last week to be asked to drive Rose out to one of the villages so we could check up on a boy called Moses. It was fascinating and shocking to see just how basic a standard of living these rural Malawians cope with – and very easy to see how Moses chances would have taken a nose-dive without the continued support of Open Arms. The grandmother to whom he’d been returned had no money, very little land on which to grow food and several other mouths to feed in a family with no surviving male relatives. Moses had actually been unwell up until the week prior to our visit and wasn’t looking fantastic – but with Rose’s timely intervention, providing medicine, maize and other food, it was clear that he would get through it for the time being. Rose seemed pleased with his progress and happy to leave him in the care of his family as we headed back to Open Arms.
Of course, not all the returned children have such success and, indeed, during my stay a little girl, Chikwonde, had had to be brought back from her village after less than 2 months as she was starting to show signs of malnutrition. When you really understand just how little some of these people have got, it’s easy to see why so many Malawian children don’t make it past their 5th birthday. On outreach I really got a handle on just how important the work of Open Arms is in this struggling, poverty-stricken nation.
The two people in Malawi most responsible for keeping this incredible organisation in working order are, of course, Neville and Rosemarie Bevis. I stand in awe of their selfless humanitarianism – they really are the kind of people who make others want to do good things, leading, as they do, by example. As I mentioned before, it’s been a very tough year for the Bevis family and I hope Rosemarie’s return in August heralds the start of a better time for them. I’m sure it’s been incredibly frustrating for Rosemarie to be away from the thick of the action in a place that has grown and developed so much, since she and Neville arrived in 2000. Neville’s done an outstanding job of soldiering on without her but I’m sure he’ll be relieved and overjoyed to see her back. Backing up the dynamic duo is a whole host of fund-raisers all over the world (links cleverly developed by Neville to ensure the long-term support and funding of Open Arms) and the board of the Open Arms charity back in the UK. The current chairman of the board, Greg Warren, is the head of 6th form at my former school Ashville College – the link with Open Arms being established by Neville when he was still teaching there – and Ashville is one of several schools that sends out regular parties of students and large cash donations to keep Open Arms up and running. I’ll go into a little more depth about the Ashville connection next time, as their recent arrival is ripe for another chapter anyway.
Outside of the house, a team of excellent groundsmen, led by Jonam, and a security staff , headed by Nedson, keep the gardens, chicken-farm, ongoing maintenance and the safety of the grounds in tip-top condition.
There is one final cog in the Open Arms machine and I’m talking about the volunteers. Firstly, there is a whole host of permanent volunteers – some local expats – who freely give their time to the home to help out in a number of ways. These include Bronnie (a tertiary education teacher, who comes and helps on the administration side), John (a pharmacologist) and Veronica (an education specialist, who comes to help Enipher and then sticks around and helps the mothers). Then there are number of local, Malawian ladies who give up a free afternoon or two to come along and help with the babies. Finally – but my no means least – come the oversees volunteers. I’ve already mentioned Patty, Becca, Adrienne and Carlyn, who were the volunteers when I arrived and I’d like to tell you a little bit about the current incumbents.
Sophie and Claire are two lovely, young English lasses from Cambridge, who are here for a month at the end of their gap years. Sarah and Andrew are boyfriend and girlfriend from the US, where they study at Universities in the same town and they too are here for a month. All of them have funded their own airfares, pay for their accommodation and food…and spend most of their daylight hours helping out the mothers in feeding (and in some cases changing – definitely more than I can handle!) the babies in the main house. They also spend a lot of time playing with and stimulating all the kids (Harrogate House crowd too, when they’re not in school) and giving them that extra little bit of attention and love. They’re all great, interesting and affable guys but, particularly, I admire Sophie…for one very good reason. Nolia (who I mentioned earlier, of the slow but steadfast affection) has horrendous, unsightly eczema. Having worked for a dermatology company, I immediately noticed this when I first saw her and felt particularly driven to spend more time with her, as it was plain to see that, out of all the kids, she perhaps received the least attention (perhaps due to her visual appearance or, maybe, the sticky unguents used to try and combat her condition). I mentioned this to Sophie on her first day…and she’s made every day since then a ‘Nolia’ day. This little kid rarely used to smile, never laughed and would often sit, glum-faced and inactive between meals and bedtime. Sophie’s love and attention has completely transformed her and it’s a joy to hear her gruff, unpractised laugh and see her little face light up when her best friend is around. She vocalises far more and has become almost as active as her peers. For a 19-year old, Sophie’s really impressed me with her thoughtful nature and I’m pleased to know that she’s going to university in Leeds to study to be a primary school teacher…I’m sure she will make an excellent one.
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